Holidays - Post weight loss!
I have just come back from a week in Italy. It was a week of heat (30 degrees), walking and city tours. We started off in Venice, then went to Milan, then on to Lake Como and finally to Rome. There were 8 of us and we got around using trains, water buses, taxis and hop on/ hop off buses.
I expected heat and lots of walking but was unprepared for how this holiday would really be. It was intense but there is no doubt that being nearly 8 stone lighter made this holiday better than any holiday I have been on.
I will be honest and say holidays have not always been fun for me. Being overweight tends to over shadow things - I would always worry about being too ‘big’ on the plane, stress about walking around and getting tired too easily, Worry about the clothes I was wearing and feel frustrated that I hadn't lost the weight I needed to before said holiday.
I lost count of how many crash diets I went on before the holidays even started, how disappointed I was every time at failing to lose the weight I needed to lose - then the holiday would be an all or nothing affair, where I completely lost control of my eating and used it as an excuse to eat even more to smother the discomfort I was in. I came back heavier, more unhappy with my body and the cycle of dieting would start again.
When you do this over and over, a little piece of you gets damaged every time.
We booked this holiday soon after my sleeve operation. I hadn't lost any weight at this point and didnt think much about a ‘goal’ weight that I would hit. I just knew I wanted to be thinner. I remember thinking - if I’ve lost a couple of stones then that will be good.
Boarding the plane at 13stone, opposed to 20 stone was unreal. I sat in the seat and had room. I wasn’t worried when a lady I didnt know sat next to me -there was plenty of room for us both and my thigh didnt touch hers. I was a little bit tearful, and not because I am terrified of flying. :) I was so damned proud of myself. It was like a whole new world and life had just begun.
Arriving in the heat was wonderful. I love the hot weather. I was born for hot weather and it finally felt like it was meant to…. No more super sweaty Helen - just a calm, pleasantly glistening Helen, enjoying the sun. Although the humidity was still a killer!!
We walked until my feet hurt but thats the only bit of me that hurt. My hips held out, my knees carried me fine and there was no part of me that felt slow or like I was holding the family up. In fact I was in front most of the time - leading the charge around the beauty of Italy - taking in the sights. Yes I wore anti chafe shorts with my dress - but come on, a thigh gap isnt for everyone!!
Eating out was a challenge, Protein was my priority and in the land of Pizza and Pasta this was a little more tricky - and a tad more expensive than I had bargained on. I managed but I had a lot of the same meals on repeat. I got so sick of eating out too - something I never thought I would feel! I stayed away from sweet things but had promised myself a little gelato. I tried some - it was fine… that was all it was. I wont miss it now I am home. Oh how things have changed!!
I haven’t got back on the scales since being home. I dont need to. I feel good about the choices I made, the fact I walked over 20K steps every day and that I stayed true to myself and this lifestyle I have chosen.
The one that puts me first, puts my health first and lets me truly enjoy life like never before. Holidays feel sweeter now - sweeter than any gelato and thats something I want again - and again.
All the little bits of broken me - the bits that were damaged during years of yo- yo dieting and not putting myself first are slowly healing. Piece by piece, little by little.
To those who are still battling - keep going. Keep trying, dont ever stop because one day you will get there, realising just like I did on that plan that life is just beginning again.
Helen xx