Autumn: A Season to Come Back to Yourself

There’s something about autumn that always feels like an invitation to slow down. The mornings get darker. The air gets cooler. We start reaching for cosy jumpers, lighting candles, making warming drinks and spending a little more time at home. But I think autumn gives us another invitation too.

To come back to ourselves. We spend so much of the year rushing. Doing what needs to be done. Looking after everyone else. Keeping up with work, family, responsibilities and the never-ending list of things that apparently need our attention. And somewhere amongst all of that, it’s incredibly easy to lose sight of ourselves. Not dramatically. Just little by little. You stop doing the things you enjoy. You keep putting off something you know you want. You tell yourself you’ll start looking after yourself properly when life calms down. You make decisions based on what everybody else needs before asking what you need.

And before you know it, you can feel like you’re simply going through the motions of your own life.

Autumn doesn't have to be about starting again

We hear so much about transformation. New year, new you. Summer body. September reset. Monday morning fresh start. But what if you don't need to completely reinvent yourself? What if you simply need to reconnect with the person who has been there all along?

This autumn, instead of asking:

“What do I need to change about myself?”

Try asking:

“What do I want to come back to?”

Maybe you want to come back to moving your body because it makes you feel good. Maybe it's reading, walking, cooking, creating, journalling or getting outside. Maybe it's having proper conversations with people you love. Maybe it's protecting some time that's just yours. Or maybe you've reached a point in your life where you know something bigger needs to change, but you haven't quite figured out what that looks like yet.

You don't have to have all the answers.

Small changes count

One of the biggest things I've learnt about change is that we often make the first step far too big. We think we need a complete plan. More motivation. More confidence. The perfect time. We don't.

Sometimes change starts with something incredibly ordinary. Going for the walk. Making the phone call. Opening the notebook. Saying no. Saying yes. Trying something you've always wanted to try. Giving yourself an hour without feeling guilty about it. Making one decision based on what you actually want. Small decisions don't always feel life-changing when we're making them. But make enough of them in the direction of the life you want, and eventually you look around and realise just how far you've travelled.

Your autumn check-in

Before the season gets busy, make yourself a drink, find somewhere quiet and spend ten minutes answering these questions:

What feels good in my life right now?

What feels heavy?

What have I been tolerating that I know needs to change?

What have I stopped doing that used to make me feel like me?

What do I want more of before the end of this year?

What's one small thing I could do this week to move towards that?

Don't worry about making your answers sound sensible. Nobody else needs to see them. Just be honest with yourself. Because sometimes we already know what we need. We've just been too busy to listen.

You don't have to wait until January

There are still months left in this year. That's plenty of time to make a change. Not to become a completely different person. Not to overhaul your entire life. But to start choosing yourself a little more often.

To create some space.

To get curious about what you actually want.

To take the next small step.

Autumn reminds us that letting go is part of life. Maybe there are things you're ready to let go of too — old expectations, habits, pressure, perfectionism, or the belief that it's too late to do something differently.

It isn't. You don't need a new year. You don't need permission. And you don't need to have everything figured out. - You can simply start where you are. One decision. One boundary. One walk. One conversation. One small promise to yourself that you actually keep.

Maybe this autumn isn't about becoming someone new.

Maybe it's about coming home to yourself.

— Helen x

If you're feeling stuck and know something needs to change but you're not sure where to begin, my Clarity & Momentum coaching gives you space to work out what you want, what's getting in the way and the small, realistic steps that will move you forward. Get in touch if you'd like to chat about working together.